School has been getting on my nerves lately, I'm just really tired of everything
I can't wait for all the projects and exams to be done
really I am sick of it and I really want to kill myself

Getting over you

I'm really am tired sometimes. I guess the main reason why I cut my hair was an excuse for me of moving on. Moving on from guys. Guy that I loved, guy that I liked. I've became another person nowadays. I'm meaner, and I will ignore you because in my mind, there's no need for me to talk to you because you have obviously found the girl you want to be with. I can see it through your eyes. The way you looked at her, hurts me. What do you want me to do? I don't want to talk to you because I'm scared of falling over again for you. Everytime I passed by, I regret of not talking to you but at the same time.. I want to protect myself from being hurt. I'm really hurt, really really hurt it just doesn't show because I don't want it to show. I try to talk less about you, day by day, I want to forget you. Forget the love I once had for you. I'm so stupid but what do you want to do.. what do you want me to do. It's the best thing that I can do for myself. I try to find a replacement to replace the place you've took from my heart. I got attached to that person as well but not as much as I am towards you. Tears don't fall anymore because I don't let them to. Everytime I see you.. I still remember the first day you hold my hand, the first day you talked to me with your sweet and loving brown eyes, the first day when I kissed you, the first day I've fallen for you, the first day I've been hurt because of you, the first day I'd cried for you, the last day of me trusting you.

Sad to say, you still are in my heart and I still can't let go

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year started in a horrible way that I didn't like. Argument. I don't know why but every time that things get better something negative always happen to my family and I really hate that. My resolution for chinese new year is the same as my new year's resolution. I guess I'm the typical chinese girl that believes that my 2012 year has just started because I'm chinese.. I just want to believe there's still good things that will happen to me during this year. 2011 was my worst year in everything.. love, friendship, school, family and work. But in 2011 I'd learned that there are some people that aren't worthy of being apart of my life. So yeah I'm pretty much doing my homework but I just wanted to post something on chinese new year to see how it goes.
I just wish that everything will be fine and I don't have to be hurt this year. Please, I really don't! I want to be happy and not be confused by guys and stuffs. I think my biggest weakness is that I get attached to easily and I really have to change the way it is because now I am hurting myself and this is really unhealthy for me. So yeah I have to be independent and if the right one comes along, then that's good