Worked all day and I'm exhausted. Customers were so rude today and I was a little bit pissed off but it's alright. I just came back from work and I heard that my grandpa is sick :( I hope he's okay and I felt bad that tomorrow I won't be going to the doctor with him!! All I wish is that my grandparents to be healthy and happy <333333 Anyway that was my day. My summer is so far really good but you know there are some ups and downs but right now it's stable.

It is already 5:30 in the morning but yeah I just wanted to write this down before I forget ahaha, still havent sleep a bit and I have to work at 11am until 22h30 wow kill me. Ive just realized that Ive found someone that I really really like but Ive just never realized before reading a note. It said that you two fight like a married couple, flirt like first love, care for each other as brother and sister so it's meant to be! Are we? Does he feel the same? Do I even feel something for him? Am I ready to be in a relationship? Those are some questions that hunted for a while but Ive just never said it out loud but it was there all along without me realizing their presences. I wish that one day I can clear those answer with right ones. Right now I feel empty and it sucks because I'm nor happy nor sad nor mad, I am empty like a bottle of water without it liquid. Lame... Anyway goodnight I mean good morning C:

I feel empty lately I don't know why..

I promised myself that I'll have the best summer ever but I end up doing SLEEPING

You know that feeling when you look at the person when you used to like during your childhood. I don't know how to describe this feeling but it feels great. It just reminds me that I've grown a lot as a person. You will always have this sort of soft spot around this person. Not that I still like him but you know it was my childhood sort of first like like. It just reminds me of my boyfriend in kinder garden. I lost my first kiss on the cheek to him. I had a lot of not real relationship during my childhood and almost teenager stage. I've never really been in a relationship with someone since then. Maybe because I excepted too much from people and we always end up things in the talking stage. When I think about it, my childhood was just filled with great memories. But back to the topic that I don't know what it was. I just think that right now, I am not looking for a relationship because it just doesn't last. People fall too fast and end the relationship too fast. Most people I know are not serious and I want to find someone that is ready to deal with someone like me. Someone that's ready to have a commitment and all the shit. Most of all, I want someone that can make me laugh. I have to admit that I'm a pretty much depress person. I need to laugh because without laughter, there's not a reason for me to be happy. To me, being in love is not the priority of the relationship but it's to be happy with each other. To start a relationship with someone, you have to be friends with this person. I think that everybody wants to have this sort of a best friend relationship and yes I want that too. Today I just felt like writing this down I don't know why.. maybe because it's been a long time since I haven't really writing stuff

When you find someone that you really connect with and you're having a good time. You two are in the talking stage but don't want to move further. Maybe both of you are not ready or maybe you two are just meant to be friends but at the end of the day, you two are really happy together.

Today was amazing! We went paintball today and it was really fun. I really enjoy spending time with my friends, they are so funny and we always end up having a blast. At first, I waited for an hour with an old friend, it was really fun to talk to him again because we kind of lost contact with each other. I'm so happy that he's okay and he's back to "normal" again. We saw a lot of subway passing by and we decided to go upstairs to see if they were there. The funny part, they'd waited an hour also but I didn't have any signal so we end up laughing about that. We played two games me and my girlfriend because we were too scared. Really it was an amazing experience because it's really different playing that and playing call of duty. Seriously I was really scared. We talked a lot today and we went eating Tim at 11pm. We watched tvb drama at my girlfriend's house and it was fun and relaxing.
Those are the friends that you can called even twenty years later and still the friendship lasts <3
Tomorrow spending time with wifeeey and eating after we shi and jenn

It doesn't pissed me off anymore because I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to say whatever I want to say, I'm going to walk away because I hate this feeling I'm having right now. For one time, I'm going to be selfish for myself because why do I always have to care for others before myself. Why it is me that gets hurt in the end because I don't want others to be. Why am I putting myself through this if I know that to be happy, I have to be selfish. Seriously, why should I care if I hurt you because all you did was hurting me. I thought I meant something but whatever man, you give but you never receive but it's okay. You got used by someone but at the end that person gets mad at you. What the fuck is wrong in this world. I don't need this what the hell. I knew that you were two faces before but whatever I am done and happy. Seriously, at least have a pretty personality because I am the one that should be mad. You asked for it, whatever from now on you go your way I go mine. Fuck that, you can't be always nice because in the people they are going to back stabbed you. I'd been used once and now twice.. there won't be a third. You know, you'd given your all but in the end you get nothing. It's like giving your life for someone but in the end you get a slap on your face because you'd asked for it, nobody told you to give your life idiot.
Whatever, I'm not mad anymore because I am not the only who thinks that you are selfish so don't judge other people because at night, I think that you know who you really are. I may be a bitch but at least I admit it not like some people. I'm thankful for so many people that still stick with me until the end, I love them so much <3 It's going to be a great summer because I have them and fuck everything else.
It's either you change or don't ever talk to me because I don't want to waste any more time with people like you.

Going paintball tomorrow wouhouu :)

Selfish little bitches really pissed me off. Too bad I don't need them anymore.. At least there are still few ones that are still there for me, thank you

Sometimes we just need someone that can make you smile. Someone that will find a way o make you laugh. Someone that can tease you but will apologize in the end. It's great when you find someone like that...

Last night, I dreamed of them two. I don't understand why they have to appear one another. The funny part is I was in love with the new love instead of the old one. Both of them were so perfect but I can only choose one. I wish I can go back to that dream. I think I know who to choose if I have to one day. But a dream is a dream, it doesn't mean that in real life it's going to be the same. But it looked so realistic ..

These past few years I've gained so much weight seriously it's true. I'm really fat compare to before and this summer I have already set my goal. To be skinny but healthy. I'll still eat food but a little less, drink a lot of water and tea. Go to gym especially swimming. For real, next year is prom and I don't want to mess it up because of my laziness. FIGHTING

Lately I've been going out so much with my friends that I've put aside my asian drama. So starting today it will be hardcore drama and also I've to clean up my room because stores are all closed..