To be honest, I don't know what I've became lately.. I love who I am but the fact that I say that I'm happy seem like a lie. I don't really believe in such a thing called happiness because somewhere in the road, there are things that will destroy it. I mean being happy without all those thing. Have I succeed? I think my happiness comes from maturity I believe. I don't believe in love, friendship, trust. Those were the thing that made who I was but as time went on, it's like all those things have disapear from my point of view. As for love, I can my expectations are too high and unable for someone to reach. I guess it's my fault. Love, I don't believe when it comes to me. People can't commit, people are too selfish, people want to be in a relationship just to be in one. It sucks because love/being in a relationship has lost its meaning. I'm scared to be someone that is only looking for a label because to me, labels don't matter much. It is the feeling that does. It's the happily ever after that might last. It's a silly girl's dream but still... It's what I want. But I don't believe in it anymore. I've became dark in some way. No more feeling for anyone.. Well for those that matters to me. As for friends, I guess in life, you only have few that do matter. Those people are your real friends. Those that will stick around no matter what. It doesn't matter the amount of time that you guys have spend together but it's the memories and the feeling that you both shared that matters. I have lost trust in people but for the friends out there that are trustworthy... Hopefully they won't disapoint me. I don't want to be more broken than what I am.
I feel broken somehow, empty. I hate this feeling but I just have to suck it up and move on and live life...