I'm so tired and I can't  believe I'll be having two exams tomorrow. Math and Science, please kill me already! I skipped the afternoon so that I can study on my own. Can't stay at home because I'll be lazy, can't go to downtown because it will be a distract and beside I don't think I'll be going there because yesterday was bad.. Anyway I have to go back to work *fighting*

I finally have the courage to move on. I think the problem was, I was scared. I got so used to that person that it was really for me to move on. I guess it's true that it is hard to move on from someone that once met the world to you. I'm sick of hearing myself telling people that I had moved on even though I knew that it wasn't true. But as time went by, I've finally decided to not love him anymore. I'm sick of it! I know there won't be an "us" so why should I waste more time. I know I can't be with him. Why did I spend more than a year loving him. It wasn't a waste of time because I had great memories. It's time for me to move on for good and smile to the world. Hopefully tomorrow's weather won't be a little bitch because I want to walk to school. Breath some fresh air and start a new day.
I was lost but I found what I was looking for, say hello say hello to a new day. This song has followed me since my first real heartbreak, and it still does, thank you <3

I'm done dreaming , it's time to go back to reality ..

It's weird not putting make up on.

It's really sad for me to realize that I can only count and trust few of my friends. I've learned to not trust that much people. I'm really grateful that I've meant so many new friends this year because they really are good friends. I can count on them even though we barely know each other but some that I've knew for quit long are no longer that closed to me. It's sad to say but it's the truth. I'm okay with it because friends come and go and that's life. Anyway, even though I've lost some of good friends but I've gained many that are there to stay for a bit longer.. I  hate those "friends" that say that you are so important to them but at the end of the day they don't really trust that much. It's sad that you tell everything to them but they don't do the same thing.. Like seriously I can't stay those people. If we are friends then we should actually trust each other? I guess not. It's fine because I can still count on few good and true friends that have been there for so long. Even though we barely see each other we know that this bond that we have will never break. I knew from the start that we were going to become good friends. They are not my best friends but they are my good and true friends. In teenager stage, we don't have really meet someone that's your best friend. In elementary school, yes maybe you'll fine a best friend like me. I've known my best friend for almost 11 years, sometimes I don't really contact her because I've so many work to do and I forget but at the end of the day she's my best friend and I know she'll understand me. Some other good friends of mine, even though we don't see each other that often, we are good friends. But there are also those friends that are fake and they just considered you as a replacement. When they don't need you well they'll ignore you. Fuck that, I don't need this. That's why I don't trust anymore.. why should I trust some fake people that will leave you later on.. Sick of this. That's why.. no more trusting

Friends come and go, I've just learned to stop trusting people

So today when I got back from a long day of school, I'd watched so tv and decided to take a nap  because I was really tired. I can honestly say that everytime I sleep, I end up dreaming about something random. Guess what I dreamed about.. a nightmare. I don't know why I still keep dreaming of him.. why? Why he has to be so perfect in my dreams but a total jerk in real life.. I really really hate it, I don't want to fall for a person that I create in my dreams because in real life he's the total opposite. I mean he used to be a good guy, a guy which I fell in love with but now, I don't even know him anymore.. I hate him, I really do hate him. why don't we have a delete button so that I can delete all the memories we had and pretend we've never meant, Why..

Life's too short to have regret. I've been searching for so long and the ones I'd found weren't worth my time. The day I stopped looking for someone, you came around and made everything perfect. I hope you are the one because to me you are irreplaceable and I don't want to lose you <3

I haven't laugh so much in one day since a long time ago.. I guess today was really fun. It was shi's birthday and I was kind of stressing out because of the bus and so but when we arrived at Tien's house well we had a blast! We went t the pool and all but the guys were always throwing me at the water omg .. I think I'll be sick for sure
It was an awesome night.. loved it! xox

He's cute, he's funny, he's everything I want <3
The problem is I'm not reading yet..

So today I did my math exam and it was alright. Today was pretty much stressful because I had to do a debate assignment and it is super long. I think I'm going to stay up all night to finish it. I might skip tomorrow's first period because it's a lot of presentation so I can do my work. But of course my asian mom is going to scream at me for missing class even though you don't do anything. Sigh, I have to live with her
Anyway I'm happy and all. Maybe because I know that I didn't quite moved on of some people. I want to get close to them all over again but FATE DOESN'T LET ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I'm such a bad person.. how can I like so many people at the same time.. It just pissed me off. How can I torture myself like that. WHY WHY WHY.. I don't know. If I can combine the things I like about them all-together, I'll find the love of my life for sure. I'm so funny.. that will never happen unless someone has them all

Lately I'm trying a lot of product in my hair to make it grow faster! FIGHTING! It's almost summer and I need long hair. I'm not sure if I'm going to add some brown and blond highlight on yet. Also, I'm trying to get my freaking Iphone because my cellphone is not working anymore.. I CAN'T EVEN TEXT OR HEAR A FREAKING CALL FROM SOMEONE.. how sad.. and a lot of argument with mommy because of that. Anyway it's alright, I paid for everything so that's fine. I owe so much money to everyone but they don't mind. My new closet is almost done so I need new summer clothes and shoes in it. I need to buy my micheal kors watch and also my wallet. A new pair of sunglasses, either ray b, m.k or chanel. I also need a new lense for my Nikon. New extension if my hair doesn't grow. A lot a lot of shoes for summer. A lot of shorts because I'll be going out. Sad sad life. I really need to work more to get all of it. Hopefully, my family will help me financially

So tired of studying, I want to sleep badly but I drank too much green tea and water. It doesn't help my sleeping but at least I can sleep until 7h30 and 7h35 but I don't think so
I'll be studying until that.. maybe 8 o'clock and I'll go to school because I have to find my stupid bescherelle
Composition plus a science exam, wouhou that's fuun!

Every morning, when I wake up.. I feel like I am wasting my time but you always give me a reason saying that I am not. I don't know what else can make me happier except seeing you and talking to you. Not only your hugs but the sound of your voice comfort me. I know I still haven't really move on of.. but I promise myself that if one day I really really do, well I know what to do with you. It's still hard for me to see him with her and it still hurts me so that's why I don't want to move forward with you. I want us to be friends but at the same time I want us to be more than friends but I'm scared of losing you. Right now, you are so important to me and you make my days brighter every day and I'm so thankful for that. Thank you for your presence in my life.


I can't believe I wrote that and it was almost two weeks ago.. it's crazy how things can change in only two simple week

When everything seem to be fine again, something has to always come along and ruin everything
Fuck that, I'm done trying to work things out.. there's no point