I cant take this anymore. Seriously can you stop being all crazy. We're not your dogs. No one give you the right to yell at us because you're angry over something. If you want to yell at something start with yourself and how control freak you are. How you think you know everything because no you dont. Stop freaking criticize me when you are no better. Do you know how it affects me. I really cant take this anymore. I cant stand you NOBODY CAN with your freaking mood swing. I know how much you've done for us but you are makingus miserable. I want to tell you things but at the end I get yell at. Whatever you arr just pushing us away. Dont try to act nice in front of people just because you want to keep your face. Seriously old chinese people are all hypocrite. Whatever im done. Im sick of you. I wont cry anymore because im just wasting thkse tears for an horrible person like you.

How I can do is blame myself for this. We wouldnt be this way if I havent acted so cold... Maybe we would've still be friends somehie

Going home, in the car
Me : mom im going to learn how to knit a scarf, im going to knit you one and you're going to wear it every day.
Mom : do i really have to ?
Me : huh yes because you can show it off in front of your chinese momma momma friend
Mom : it's okay ill pass
-dad comes in-
Me : daddy, mommy doesnt to wear the scarf im going to knit for her
Daddy : why
Me : because she thinks it's going to be ugly
Daddy : well you wont even finish it
Me ; thank you for the support
Daddy : we will always "support" you
DADDY AND MOM START LAUGHING

wow thanks .

Is it just me but I felt so awkward at that moment and I almost bump into you. How much it hurts but well...

Cant wait to leave high school. There are some people that are just too awful for me to stand. Not respect. Wait for them to get to cegep and get the taste of your own medecine because you are nothing.

Feeling betray by someone that you consider as your best friend
Anyway whatever

Okay my eyes are hurting i better go to sleep

Crazy day omg

Okay so today was a CRAY CRAY DAY FOR ME. I was so tired this morning so I prepared myself some tea and first period was boring obviously but when second period has started like I couldnt stop laughing with my guy friend mike and i dont know what we ate this morning but we were really cray cray omg. I couldnt stop laughing and i was so tired. After that well of course i was being all crazy with my girl well only me. Lunch time was just the same again. We were talking about old times and it was just so funny. I was litterary dying. I cant believe it's our last year together. We had so many good memories together! :( anyway back to happy day. After lunch it's ethique and french so obviously the teachers were being all crazies and the only thing i qas doing is being craaazy. After school was zumba and watching my friends doing it was so funny. I loved it! I messed around in salle 5 and you know everything went crazy. Walked home and now im writing this. Laters, going to study now.

Today I wrote a lot of quotes in my agenda and I've analyzed all those quotes about life and happiness. I really have to thank them everyday from now on because I've realized that there are many people out there that are in a way more worst situation than I am and still, they are happy. It's time to burry those feelings and live life the fullest. Smile everyday. A minute wasted being angry or sad is sixty seconds wasted to be happy. I'm not telling myself to always be happy and not be sad because no I will be sad some times.

It breaks my heart to see people die because of wars. It's not fair. My prayers go to all of the people suffering from war. Why can we just live all equally and peacefully.

Having a facial mask time for me ~
So relaxing

Cantonese show are the best. It's been a while since I haven't laughed that much. It feels so good!

ok FUCK i cut my bangs on my on and duh it turns out to be a BIG fail
i have to wear my bangs up for at least 3 months, hopefully they will grow fast like most of the time
IT'S JUST NOT MYYYYYY YEAR 2012

listening to old childhood songs <3 disney songs and high school musical.
it gives me chills, can i go back to my childhood?

Just woke up and not feeling well. Maybe it's been two days in a row that I haven't slept more than 4 hours have drown me so much that I feel like not waking up. It's saturday wouhou ! I'm going to buy to masks because I seriously need some because my skin is screaming for help. I wonder if I should buy a new sweater or a new dress? I don't know yet but I'll see if I have some time to. Anyway I have to do a chinese essay so omg kill me :(

Mom : shirley you've gained so much weight lately
Me : I know I know , what do you want me to do?
Mom : It's okay. Like that you won't have a boyfriend and I don't have to worry about you
Me : Wow thanks mom, you want me to die forever alone okay I get it

My mom is the nicest ==' it's okay, if I i end up forever alone they promised because daddy promised to take care of me hehe :)

Am I the only one that likes to listen to old chinese songs? The lyrics, the melodies and the voices are much more better than what we have now. It's full of emotions and I just love it. I can't wait for all the exams and projects to be over so that I can enjoy my cantonese dramas omg. I hate that every time I go to chinese school they always spoil things because they have the fking time watch and I don't. SO UNFAIR. I think I have like at least 8 dramas to catch on like what the hell did I stop? I'm going crazy about the songs on Witness Insecurity even though it wasn't my favorite drama overall because they let my BOSCO DIE :(:( And it became boring after episode 12-13-14? But yeah I might watch Moonlight Resonance for like a 100th time now because I just adore this drama so much. It will always be in my tvb top 5. So many emotions so many memories while watching that drama. Well I guess it's everyone's top 5. I've cried and laughed so much anyway. I had nothing to talk about because I didn't feel like studying for a short moment and listening to those songs made me want to write this thing down.

I guess nobody will be sleeping tonight, studying time :) i mean :( but you know I'm just trying to be positive somehow

it sucks to know that everything will soon end...

i'm addicted to internet shopping. got to find me some heels and maybe a cute little clutch bag

stuff i have to do

• be more healthy, eat fruits, drink more water, no more junkfood
• stop procrastinating 
• cut off a little tumblr, youtube time because I'm an addict
• do more skincare
• buy a good foundation and concealer for my dry skin
• take care of myself
• try not to dye my hair again and buy masks for them
• BUY SOME CHRISTMAS SHITS TO GET US INTO A SORT OF CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
• buy gifts for my family
• have some time for myself
• do some (a lot) of shopping
• buy books <3
• clean my room
• search for my boots
• buy some make up
• buy some socks ahaaha

anyway so many things to do and so little time

starting from today, no more junkfood! i have to eat healthy. no more mcdonalds, no more pizza. maybe some sushi but it has rice so better cut it off. i'm seriously on a diet. no more distraction just doing my thing. i have to lose weight. i have to healthy so i won't be sick again. i'm doing this for me and my health. i better have some motivation. i'll try to walk every morning but some times i'm just being lazy and it's getting cold. i might walk during winter as well if it's not too cold but i hate winter so yeah.

omg im so hungry , I haven't eaten my supper yet and I don't plan on eating it. I think I have to stick on healthy food but still I might gain weight. My dark circles are so bad T__T My hair is so short :(
Okay quit complaining wuwu! Can't believe I am talking to myself but yeah long day. Tired day. As always dreams to me and let's hope I'll dream of something good tonight

I hate having dark circles T__T
I kind of like this type of eye make up. I look "fall ready" even though winter is coming up. Can't wait for christmas! At least I can back off of reality for at least two weeks. I can read my books, shopping, go out with friends, eat eat eat and forget about everything. I will like to go karaoke. I think that is the best place to go when I feel like relaxing. Drink bubble tea like a real asian because I'm tired of starbucks. Eat american food or other kind of not asian food because i'm tired of eating chinese, sushi or korean bbq. Maybe some thai food will make me happy :) Spend time with my family especially my sister because she's going through her friend's death. I think I'll buy her some treat tomorrow because she deserves it. I feel bad for her. I have to stop complaining about my shit really it's not worth it and also what is going change anyway.

Tonight so many things happen. Actually good and bad things. I had the chance to reunited with my childhood best friends that I love the most <3 I missed them so much like crazy. Can't believe it's been 11 years we've known each other!! And the bad new is I know that I haven't moved on yet. I still have strong feelings for him. Some times I can't explain why I love him that much. What did he do to me? But I fell for him badly. I mean madly. He's so gorgeous, I just couldn't take my eyes off him. I love him and I know I have to stop this because it's not worth it. I've never been this broken before. I can't let myself talk to him. My world will collapse. I want to erase him. I don't want to talk about him but why. Why. Why. Why. I've questionnes myself before. What did he do to me to hurt me so bad? Maybe because I know that I can't be with him. We're not meant to be together. My one sided love is all for nothing. I'm just fooling and hurting myself to a point that I can't feel anything. I'm too used to feel this way that nothig can reach. Nobody can help because I've already fallen too hard and it's already too late to catch me. Love hurts. I hate this feeling. At the same time he's the only that can make my heart melt but also can break into thousand pieces. Anyway fuck this shit. I'm just really stupid...

What an awesome fashion, I'm so proud of the girls. I can't believe it's already over. They have put so much effort on it and it was wonderful. The models, performers, mc's and behind the scene were just amazing. It really touched me and it was just amazing. I love it! What a night! So proud of them all <3333
So tired and sicl but it was all worth it.

Last week, no make up day
Seriously I've been breaking out like crazy. Because of my cold my skin is red and I look like a monster

Somewhere in the road. I just wanted to stop there and rest for a while. I think I'm done with all those shits I'm putting myself into. What it's not meant to be should be clear to me and I really have to fucking move on. I'm rude but it's true, I'm an idiot. And yet ..

I really hope that my sister is going to be alright. Her life has always been so tought. She doesn't deserve all this. Why life is so unfair to her. Happy birthday to my lovely sister. I hope her all the best and that she stays happy every day. I know it's a rought time now but tomorrow will be a better day!

:'(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

I miss you. So much that it hurts. I know that I had said a countless time that I'd moved on but I'm ony lying to myself. But why can't I? You don't give a shit about me. If you did, you would've bother to talk to me.

i wonder if i'd ever crossed your mind..

if only i can hug him for a very last time..

Sick....

Can I die already

I wonder if you had kept our picture took together

I don't deserve my family to love me. I really don't.........

Had amazing time at my twinnie's birthday party, happy birthday baby girl <3