Where I belong? I feel like it's really hard sometimes to embrace my culture because of where I was born and so. Sometimes I feel like a total stranger to the people that are similar to me. Day by day I realized that I can't always be with the same people from my culture. I need diversity like back it high school. Not that it makes me sick but really it's not the same feeling I get because we don't have the same mindset. I love my culture but I also love the fact that I'm a proud Canadian that loves American stuff lol. I guess I really needed to share this. Maybe that's why I miss high school. Some people are truly hard to forget.

I have to admit I kind of deserve it but at the same time I wasn't really that exaggerating. You are just being childish right now... Anyway fuck it ...

Sometimes I wonder If I have made the right choice with the College I chose. I just don't really feel like I belong there. I still haven't found the people where I truly connected to I guess. I do miss some people in high school, a lot I mean. Everything about them was really funny, to think back I had really great memories and it breaks my heart that it passed so fast and it's already too late to say our goodbyes...

And then again, Im really happy to have seen you again. Seems like you're doing fine with your life. Somehow I still miss the feeling of liking you. Its like I can still feel it but maybe Ive just been too heartless to admit. I try to see if I still have feelings for you but I dont know. I dontknow whats going to happen next. Are we still going to be in each other's lives later on? Then again, if there's a parallel universe.. I would have wished for us to be together.. Happily.

But I know that's just a silly dream of mine. 

Why do you have to become more handsome T__T I was perfectly on my way of moving on with my life 

And u had to appear in front of my face again

Because the timing is never right.... 

i hate myself for still missing you

but then i know that i'm okay without you even though i still think of you... 

What I do when I wake up

-find my iphone/ipad

-Youtube time to see if there's any new videos of Exo first

-Maybe some Youtube time for my Youtubers

-Check on Tumblr for Exo

-Repost regular stuff of Tumblr after Exo time

-Check out my Instagram

-Check out my Fb Chat, text messages, WeChat, Snapchat and emails

Basically my everyday schedule hehe :)

Of course after that, brushing teeth while listening to Exo's songs 

Current favorite : EXO-K What is Love (freakin adore this song, I have to listen to it at least 4-5 times or even more a day), Missing You live-D.O, XOXO Exo-k Exo-M, Peter Pan Exo-k, Wolf K&M, Growl K and 365 M

Thank you Exo for your existance, I'm really greatful. Making my life so much better and happier <3

hello my lovely blog! Long time haven't written something on this blog. I've been really busy with work lately. I barely have time to hang out and when I get back from home the first thing I do is watch Exo's videos hehe :) Yeah! I've became one of the them. Even I, myself don't believe it because I always the one that keeps mocking the EXOtics (exo fans) friends that I have. I came across before on their videos but I have barely paid any attentions to them. Suddenly one day I've decided to watch Happy Camp of Exo because I'd already knocked out 140 epjsode of爱回家 haha! Yes call me crazy and I still have 200 to go but because my couzin had to download the episodes on the hardrive, I still have to wait a little bit longer so I've decided to download some variety shows on my ipad and most of them are funny ones because hell no that i'm going to wath lovey dovey wanna make me puke drama. Yes I am done with couples drama .. So yeah I instantly fell in love with these 12 flowery talented boys, Of course the looks are bonus.. Okay I admit I did like them at first for their looks  but talents ATTRACT ME. Then yes IT's backhyunnnnnnnn <3 I can't even explain how much I love him. God blessed his parents for giving birth to this amazingly talented guy. I've never fell for such an amazing beautiful voice. If one day, one day, I have the miracle to meet him, I'll need to thank him for always putting a smile on face when I hear him sing!! And yes I just cried while reading their thank to of their XOXO album. I couldnt help myself. These boys are the bomb and I hate that people hate on them because you are not better. Really it hurts me that people keep hating on them and judging them. They deserve what they have and I will always support you guys ! Fighting!

not given a single fuck

next summer definitely going on a trip with my friends. or maybe my future boyfriend lol? but yeah for now no relationship for me

ok i have fallen in love again with a fictionnal character well pretty much with the role that Charlie Hunnam played

okay killed me now :( im obsessed with him and i think im goin crazy soon

remember shirley, you have your family and friends and that's all it matters

so don worry about that stupid crush

it would go away eventually

stay strong and be brave

i know you can do this

sincerely from your own self

dont drink to forget him because he isnt worth yor freaking time

has he ever bother to talk to you? no

he never did the freaking first step.

he's a stupid boy that you need to forget.

he isnt worth your precious time.

forget forget forget!!!!!!!!!!!

Can i just cry already

fuck feelings. i dont need them.

ive been drinking too much this week.. the pain seem forgotten but then ive realized that if i was to get drunk, the person i want to bring me back home is him. the one i want to hold tight while taking the metro would be him. because it seems like i cant stop thinking how much i miss him.

I realized that I'm like a vampire. Staying at home during the day and going out at night but yeah. It was fun. So shop with K today. Haha ive realized that i should shop more with guys from now on because when i go to the men section... hihihi but it was fun and hurt my wallet a little bit because i bought some clothes :( we went to ganadara and the thing i took was just too spicy. We went to pool and after that I went to meet up S for like a late night dinner that most asian do. So yeah we waited for the guys to come for almost 1h30 but it was fun. Really fun. Love messing with those guys sometimes. Just a simple night out like that can brighten up my day. 

Single life is awesome when you have great friends to hang out with! 

Enjoying it the fullest :D

I just want us to be at least good friends.

There are so many guys that I really regret liking but this particular boy D well I've never regretted even from the start. He's such a really good boy. Hearing his break up with his girlfriend of 3 years did break my heart a little because I was really hoping that they would last for a long time. I know I've liked a lot and kind of confessed before but when you really liked someone you would wish them happiness. The day I've let go of this feeling of him I was truly wishing him a lot of happiness with his girlfriend. I see how he really loves her and it must really break his hurt because I'm sure he still has feeling for him. For me, he's a friend now and do really want to do something. Even though we're not that closed because I guess after everything we've distanced.. I really wish we can reconnected because I still want him to be appart of my group friend. I wish he can eventually move on and he might be happy one day. Anyway I just really need to vent because it makes me sad. Girls can be so heartless and stupid sometimes. But maybe she has her own reason but anyway.. she missed out on really great boyfriend.

So many of my guys friend around me either got rejected or dumped by an idiot girl. I feel so bad for them and all I can do is be a good friend and support them. No matter what, I will always support them because I know how it feels to be hurt but I guess I'm truly strong enough to be the independant girl that I always wanted to be. Seeing everything going around me just makes me realize that I'm truly happy single. Anyway I need to sleep. 

thoughts

sometimes i look around me and i feel like i deserve better. some guys just treat me so well but i only realize after. i tend to go for the ones that arent interested in me and it hurts but i forget those that stick around and make me feel appreciated... fuck those that dont care and dont make the efforts & cherish those that care & treat a girl like a queen..

tired of posting stuff, im done with this too

Feelings

Good times should be remembered, bad times to be erase. This summer is the start of something new. I'm not letting anyone getting in the way of ruining my summer whether it's family or close friend. I deserve to be happy for once and yes I will be selfish to get this happiness that I've never gotten ever before. Party hard, work hard, gym hard. I don't care about anything else. Love and shit .. not for me. I'm tired of hurting my own heart. It's either you are worth my time or else, gtfo of my life.

I'm done. If you still don't understand and being your stubborn little self then I'll just let it be. I don't want to understand you anymore. I'm done. I don't need this. I don't care what you think because you surely don't see me trying then what's the point. Like I'm sorry but you're the one that's making yourself depressed not me. Whatevers tired of this bullshit.

not to be in a point of being drunk but seriously never drank so much in my entire life. i feel really dizzy but it's okay.. i guess i forgot the pain of missing him.

Time to move on, time to grow up, time to be an independent new me

some people want it all but i just want nothing at all

i dont want to think about relationship, love or boys 

seriously i am tired

im tired of this bullshit

im just going to shut my feelings down i guess

theres no need for me to try

because it seems like bad luck keep hitting at my door

so many scarves hidden in my heart

sometimes all i want to do is let them all out but i know i would be hurting the people i love the most in this world...

i need to sleep. i really hate everything

why do i always fight with my mom

she makes me hate my life

why do i always cry because of her

why can we have a normal mother daughter conversation

sigh im tired, cant feel my eyes

wish i cam forget everything

i need a coma for real, a year of sleep might just help me out..

It just wasnt meant to be....

You know I guess I cant stay on like this anymore. Like I know there a lot of regrets but sometimes a girl just has to move on for her on good because if a guy was really insterested in you well it wouldnt be like this like come on dude it was freking obviously. Do I really need to say it outloud because come on! Even if you are "shy" there are still limits to this shyness... Anyway it's not like I would be hurt forever because I know there are still plenty fishes in the sea. It's okay if you don't want me because maybe I don't want you anymore. I've come to a point that it doesn't matter who it is as along he treats me well and makes me laugh. Those are what I am looking for in a guy. And there are so many of them that do. I feel blessed and lucky. Recently I went out with some girlfriends and him.. One of my last summer crushes lol I mean there were only two. I enjoyed that feeling. He's always on time I mean always 5 minutes early and that's what I really like about him. One of the things that's cool about him is that he used to be so shy but since last summer we got closer by arguing a lot and now we are always teasing each other. I guess that's what I am looking for. A guy I can be best friend with. Teasing him and making fun of him (a little bit) from time to time. 

Life is too short to always worry about stuffs you know. Always be happy and have a smile on my face :)) 

You know it sucked that I couldnt dance with him at prom but it was cute that he danced with his mom. I dont know I guess it's the end of it. I wont let one boy crush me :) if one day theres a chance for us to meet again then it would be great but life is about moving on and looking forward! I guess there are some regrets left behind but ill try to let those regrets break me. 

Love me

finally done with this high school bullshit, surely not going miss it ew

I am doneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee with feelings .
seriously I can't help but just shut down my feelings because they automatically do

Yesterday we finally graduated. One of the most important nights of my life and I have the honor to spend with the people I love. It wasn't easy but we've made it through! Good things always come to an end. I couldn't help myself of crying when we starting clapping our hands to the audience. It was a beautiful and memorable night. Painful for our feet and head but it was all worth it!

My job either makes me really happy or really sad. Today I saw this married couple with their 4 years old daughter and 2 years old baby girl. I still remember them coming to our restaurant as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and now they are married and have kids. It just warms my heart to see them. Highlight of my day :) 

I still find him handsome. I still care about him but it doesn't mean I still have feelings for him. You know when it's time move on well it's about time but I will always appreciate the moments we've spent together like he said. I guess I'm starting path since a month ago. I've decided to pursue someone I wasn't sure about my feelings. Since a month, a lot of things have happened. I guess in a way I'm trying to find what I feel about and if if's worth it to fight for this person. Because this person doesn't have the expressions I'm looking for in a guy. Sometimes I think to myself if he's really the one I want to spend days with. I'm not sure but I'm willing to fight until it's time to give up. Sounds cheesy but I liked the fact that my heart skipped a beat when I see. It's like I have a radar that can always detect him. Dancing with him had definetely helped me out and I really liked it.....

cant this be oveeeer? seriously i dont want to go to graduation night, prom night
I JUST WANT TO SLEEEEEP . like for a week at least because I'm really tired
tired of school. dont even feel like partying. I'm just mentally exhausted

i dont get why my family picks a freaking tuesday night to go out and eat korean bbq ESPECIALLY WITHOUT ME LIKEEEEE i'm really sad :'(

Last day of classes

Such a happy and sad moment at the same time. It started as a sucky day but it became sunny when we had to do the "chaine". Anyway this day was amazing. The show for grads was amazing. They did a really good job!!! All of them. I'm going to miss CRA honestly it wasn't that bad. To think back, sec 5 has to be the best year of all of them. I actually feel happy but lazy when I go to school. It wasn't THAT stressful (yes it was) but teachers didn't really make it. Signing the album had been fun and tiring at the same time. I stayed freaking 3 hours to sign the freaking album and I'm not even tanned AND NO MORE WATER AT THE END :( 1h30-4h30 haha :) And the worst part is, I'm not even freaking done. When I came back and start to read the messages, omg it was so touching. I didn't know that I was such a smiley, happy, outgoing, fun person. Thanks to everyone I feel cherished. The messages were either really sweet, cute or really funny. Aww so many great memories spend with those wonderful peopleeeee :) This day is a day to be remembered. CAN'T WAIT FOR GRAD AND PROM!!

Haha my girlfriends are really cute omg. But at the same time I feel bad because they seem more happy than I am about him lol

When your eyes met mine, the world seems to have stopped for a little while

oh cheesy me but it was true

confused

The most overwhelming feeling is not knowing you like/appreciate someone a lot but it's knowing how your friends are willing to fight for your happiness. I am blessed with having them by my side. I especially thank them of everything they've done for me. Of all the screaming haha I know they would be great moms! But also knowing they would cry, laugh and be goofy with me. God had blessed me with those beautiful, kind-hearted ladies. My life is completed. I have already found my true happiness : surrounded by people I love. It's my turn to fight for my other happiness but still..there are still some doubt. I need to know how feels about me. 

<3

aw i want a werewolf boy as well :( omg that movie killed! cant even feel my eyesss :'(

wtf whyyyy people are so suicidal oo whats going on

White guy : do you know what brand it is

dad : i dont know i dont know i dont know

hahaa i love you dad, sometime it just gets me how funny he is

watching the videos and making the montage of my girls and I.. We had so so so much memories together! Can't believe it's almost over. I'm going to miss those moment so much. love them to death

wow how pathetic i look every time i talk to you. it's obvious you're not interrested fuck that  shit how can i not be done after re-reading our conversations.....

can you at least come talk to me just one time. i dont know if it's worth it or not. i really like you to the point where i am not even afraid of telling my parents about me liking you. seriously just one small little thing and i'll make the rest .. we only have 22 days left and i really want to make this work..

i just couldnt take my eyes off you today..

it's funny how you can look at someone that used to be the world to you and have no feelings anymore. i was happy though because i truly moved on. of course i smiled a bit not because i still have feelings for him but because i can still be friends with him. i miss being friends with him. really sometimes i feel like the best way for me to be confortable with my crush is when im friends with hin. but fuck my shyness really omg i cant handle myself sometimes -cyber slap self-

I'm trying you are not and by the time you do I may stop..

K last chance tomorrow, last!

幸福是要靠自己争取的 ，但是有很事情早以計劃好。

during hard times, im really blessed to have my family by my side. #love

worst day ever I guess... is it normal that my heart wrenched a little bit
#listeningtowheniwasyourman #nothelping
anyway my goal is to happy. better days are to come, i can feel it!

hm too young too dumb to realize

Can you at least make a moveeeeee f***
why do I always have to make the first move omg it's killing me
I'm expecting too much I guess!!!

You know when you want someone and they don't want u and when someone wants you, you don't want them... #mylife

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the try because it feels like he doesn’t care…

am i making a mistake? sometimes i just need a response you know..

happiest day ever ;) #newyorkkkkkk #love

i have the cutest friends ever haha :) #forever remember this day

Not anymore. Living happily my life.

I was in love with you . 

mom : omg shirley, were you daydreaming about a boy this morning? i heard you laughing so hard

me : huh mom i was awake 

-dad starts laughing hard-

wow thx mom, that made my day

im stuck on having this feeling of emptiness

yesterday i just found out that we're going to have a new member in our family. I wonder if it would a boy or a girl. I love my nephews but my nieces as well. Hopefully it would be a girl :)

i want to try but it seems like the timing is never right. I like you why. why .. ive liked you all this time . why.. im sorry for not trying. why dont you try! you are always in my mind lately why

is it okay to fall in love with a celebrity? he's the one. funny, tall, cute, handsome, charming, sings like an angel. i try to not fangirl but i cant help myself :(

i hate when my customers ask me for my number like no. unless you are very very hot, no way im ever going to give you my number...

if theres one year i really want to go back to must be the year of 2010-2011. i might have changed some things but that is where i was the happiest.......

there is no way ill be able to sleep tonight..................... why :(

ok the king 2 hearts has definitely KILLED me. omg i love the character lee jae ha! such a typical drama guy that all the girls want. whyyyyyyy am i being trapped in this trap even though i knew it was one!!! i have to move on! and fast

sometimes i really do regret starting a new drama because im always stuck loving it too much

aww watching the king 2 hearts. omg im only at episode 1 and i already love it! shouldnt be watching but whatever

That moment when you are sick and have your periods is absolutely THE WORST FEELING EVER.

dad : do u have a bf?
me : huh noooo .. -.-
dad : good then, u are going to live with me until u die
me : are u still going to give me money
dad : yes
me : okay then yeah :D

haha

It's time to stop procrastinate! To get back on track on my studies because for real I've been lacking a lot since those two spring break. Seriously I need to get my motivation back!! FIGHTINGGGGG
I think I am having fever no .. I hate it #why

Summary of my spring break

Thursday night : I worked. Nothing special. Hm I watched a drama @ work so yeah. It's a Tvb Drama : A great way to care 2. Good! I like it :)
Friday : I dyed my hair. I wanted ombre but the woman decide to bleach all my hair so I had brown/orange for a week. To be honest I didn't like because for real, I had orange and it sucks. After that I worked and of course I watched an episode of my drama. Oh yeah, I ate pho that day because I haven't eaten anything.
Saturday : Seriously it's a blank. I guess i went shopping but I end up in Indigo. I bought a candle and some hone decor because it was on sale. I got a pretty good deal yeahh ! I went to work and got to see my sister for the first time in about a week because miss lucky went to Atlantic city. She bought me a really cute shirt. Love it! And she bought me macarons from a famous shop. Forgot the name already but franchise from Paris. We ate together that night, sharing the box and tasting them. *bonding time*
Sunday : I wanted to go to Chapters to read but I end up just buying a starbucks drink over there because I had to hurry back to work because my parents had a huge fight.. I guess they reconcile at night becauee my big uncle ans big auntie came to our restaurant to eat. Thank gos they were here haha :)
Monday : I went to the bank to change my account but end up making an appointment instead. After I ate Pho in chinatown because I wanted to visit my friend who was dying her hair. Dang it! We could have dyed our hair together if I have chosen to dye them monday. We talked a lot Sushan and I as always haha. Too much I guess because we don't see each other as often because she's in Cegep now and we're busy. I end up being the delivery woman. I went to Starbucks to buy us some drinks. It was hella cold! After that I went to work because it was supposed to be "busy". It's okay because I got to see my Big couzin who came to our restaurant to eat dinner. I miss him a lot because he lives in Toronto for qute a while. I also miss my nephew and niece Justin and Julia :( At least Matthew and Alice are here! So yeah, my parents, uncle and autie, grand pa were there to eat with him. It was so good as always !
Tuesday : Day with my girls, wifey couldnt make it that day :( Evi, Shi and I went to the movie first. We saw 21 and over haha it was an hilarious movie! After we has to go to the bank because of Shi. Lise and Vi came to rejoint us. After that we went to G&D to buy the food for hotpot. Flo came and we saw some of our friends. Oh my gosh, it was so shameful in the subwqy because Vi started screaming because she almost fell. I died of shame. I kept hiding my face. We had fun hotpoting. Bring crazies as always. Love them :) I spend the night at Shi's place. WE ATE SOOO MUCH! We ate chocolate fondu at midnight. Omg.. and watched a movie we had seem before.
Wednesday : Shi prepared breakfast for me :) Wifey material haha. After living her house, I went to the bank for my appointment. Bought a Starbucks drink in Chapters. I read Naruto. I went back home to take a shower and got ready for JE. We took the exam and played cards or the rest of the night. Bullshit and loup Garou
Thursday : I treated my grandparents to dim sum. So expensive man. But for them it's worth it. I went shopping and bought some shorts. They are so cute. I was angry because my debit still havent worked!! I went to starbucks to buy a drink and headed to Chapters. I worked and I guess that's it.
Friday : I went to Allo mon coco with my sister and he ex boyfriend. I miss hanging out with him. We had fun. After that my sister and I went to Carrefour Laval. I bought some candles and a cream @ bath an body works. So angry that my card still didnt work so I went to the bank AGAIN! To complain. They arrange everything yeah. At night, Elizabeth and I went to GanaDara for dinner and we saw the host @movies. WONDERFULLLL MOVIE! Loved ittttt. Jared is soooo hot omg. Anyway Ill do a review on it.
Saturday : Woke up super late so I had to do my chinese homework in the subway hahaha. Ate with my grandpa. -Chinese school blablabla. After that I went to buy a cake for my mommy's bdaaay :) And a skincare for her as a gift! My sister cooked for us a looot of food but Felix and I had to do the dishes. Sucky part. Oh yes, I have also started a new drama called That winter, the winter blows
Sunday : So today I went for ombre hair. My sister will redye my hair nxt week ot some retouch. Nothing special tonight. Continue my drama. Ill do a review on it!
Almost died because Felix was being crazy on the road. Seriously mu heart had stopped for few seconds. He's really crazy becauee he likes racing car and motocycle. omg.. that feeling killed me
Rewatched karate kid and did my nails .

GOODNIGHHTTT~~~

you know what. im done thinking that there can be an us. like what the heck no! seriously i know i havent done much lately BUT I DID. didnt u see? like even your friends noticed that i had something for u. are u fucking kidding me? like i keep talking to u randomly just like that. omg it's pissing me off. u know what im fking done. okay like whatever. in 3 months it's hasta la vista so whatever! im not gonna be this idiot girl that keeps humiliating herself for a dude that doesnt feel the same way.

well nothing stays the same, people will always be that shallow

Don’t fucking waste your time with people who don’t have time for you, move on, be happy and don’t give a fuck about them

you're the one I love, you're the one I need YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I SEE
COME ON BABY IT'S YOUUUU

i miss talking to you fuck

stfu b

fuckyou bitch, really i cant fucking stand you anymore

yao hor lane gnor deille hm wouy joye jow pane yao. yao si gnor gnok dak lei go dow gei sam ho chon sor yi gnor zan haye yan hm dow lar.

i shouldnt hate you, i should hate myself instead because there's no reason for me to hate you. i cant hate you for not having feelings for me.

butterflies. i dont even know how it felt like but i have to say that it was a wonderful feeling

i still really miss you but I just dont care about my feelings anymore.

I wonder if I should start a beauty blog.

FANGIRLING

omgggggggggggg i love tvb, cant believe they have so many amazing sequel coming up that are from my childhood or that i really love.
- a great way to care 2
-on call 36 hours 2
-triumph in the sky 2
-war of beauty 2

ive waited for triumph in the sky and war of beauty for more than 10 years. it truly is amazinggggg <33333333333333333333333333333333333

My thoughts

I guess I think that my first love did affect me. Not the first person I've ever dated but the person I have loved the most. He's my first love. Not matter what I can't change that because the feeling I felt towards him was somehow real to me. I cannot deny that I would like us to give it a try but at the same time, the problem was that we aren't in the same world. I don't see a future for us even though I hope that somehow it would. I miss him but at the same time I'm much more happier now. I kept torturing myself by thinking of the past. There was a period of time where I didn't want to guys because I feel like I don't want this anymore. People say that I've changed but it was only a way to protect myself. Right now, I can truly say that it doesn't matter how I protect myself, I would get hurt anyway so why not change this perspective that I had. It's okay to have guy friends, it's okay to flirt, it's fucking okay to do whatever you like and not think of what other people say because by so, we learned more experiences and we become wiser that we used to. I've missed so many opportunities to meet new people in the past because I didn't want anybody else expect him. WELL FUCK IT. I'm much more wiser now, if it's not meant to be then it's whatever. We can't always live in the past and how happy we were because no we weren't fucking happy. In our mind we thought we are because right now we feel miserable. That shit is stupid. We have to wake and realize that to be happy, we have to make it happen. We have to do things we like and not care about the people that judge. If you like to read and it makes you happy well READ. If you like to party and get drunk well do it, it's your life. I don't party because I am on diet haha but I would if I was skinny and shit. Beside it's not healthy. Anyway the point is, I do what I like. If I want to stay home and sleep well that's my choice. Even though it's a waste of time but who cares? I am fucking tired. 

Also I should stop cursing haha, it's not classy but I just wanted to prove my point. Whatever I curse if I want to. 

it still kills me but im trying to maintain happy

reading to go to sleep again after a five hour nap~
seriously i have a problem haha :)

i just miss the feeling that i had for you

no sometimes i dont need your fucking opinion and what you fucking think okay? because if you had the chance you wouldnt have done the same way. stop pissing me off and acting like a fucking fake ass bitch. you disgust me seriously!

okay i have a serious obsession with rihanna's song-stay

cool my mom bought my favorite korean instant noodle. wow lately i have been obsessing over a lot of korean things. their food, music and show. well old music and new drama. I CANT WAIT FOR THE EPISODE OF THE PRETTY LITTLE LIARS OMG and also vampire diaries. k i just love everything haha

Tonight was awesome. Since I was sick for the last two weeks, going karaoke was awesome. I got to sing which is a pretty cool thing for someone that lost her voice/throat hurted as hell. Tonight also i came to a fact that I really but really hate beers. It's freaking garbage and it makes me fat so no way I am drinking it ever again. I'm not really a beer person, I refer classy stuff like wine or champagne you know. Volka is cool when it's an awesome party but you know.. DIET OVER HERE. After karaoke we went eating and it's always great to hang out with great people. I had an awesome night especially because I don't get to see those friend as often so I cherish those moments when we get together, eat and laugh. Those are the little things that make good memories

Feel so tired, guess im staying in

I know why girls are so obsessed with one direction haha. The lyrics of their songs do melt our little heart. How cute.

I really enjoy spending time with myself especially when I am somewhere quiet. I love to read book especially the self approvement ones are the best. I feel much more happier after reading them because it motivates me to become a better person. Some people might think this is boring but it's actually not for me. I enjoy doing this and I think still do it for the rest of my days. I need a break of all the school work and social stuffs. Reading and listening to music help me get to a better place. Of course I love to party and do crazy stuffs, going out with friends but I still need this. People should start to understand my values and not keep up judging me because they don't see me like this. I've changed to become a better me. A happier person that I haven't met before because she didn't know what she wants. Maybe I do have two personnalities sometimes but I'm fine with that. Currently reading a self-improvement book called "Living with less". It's so good that I can't put it down. Maybe I should buy it but it's too expensive for such a little book. Anyway feeling happy and I just wanted to write this down!

I'm really happy today, I don't know why. I just felt like I had a good day. Surrounded by good people that I love :)

I haven't written something since forever. Recently I've been doing a little diet. You know not something too crazy but just something to boost up my health because I've been having such a bad habit with food and sports. So now, every morning I try to have a little breakfast even though I barely have time because I wake up like around 7:20 when school starts a 8:05 and that I have to catch my bus that comes at 7h49. You know I am girl and I can't go to school with my bared face so make up is a must to look at least awake. I only put foundation, bronzer and blush because I want to have a natural look. When I do have time, eyeliner and other stuff might magically appear on my face. So I think I have 10 minutes to eat breakfast and I do eat a lot! It is a must because it really helped me concentrated in class lately and I do snack a little less. After that I have a good lunchy lucnchy but today was JUNK day at school so burger+poutine+soft drink killed a little my diet. ALWAYS DRINK A LOT OF WATER, I do drink a lot now and also green tea + oranges are a must for my sicky self. Also it's healthy. I do feel a lot more better wouhou. Anyway I exercised at night. I do 5 pushed up, 50 set up and 2 exercises that I've learned from a youtuber so it's like 45 minutes of exercised per day. I try to sleep more early. My goal is to sleep at midnight for now. anyway I have to go study, laters.

I'm so blessed for having such a loving family!

I feel bad for nice guys. Seriously it's not fair for them. I mean yes I am the type of girl that goes for the bad boy, the mystery one but you know at the end of the day, all I need is someone that stays true to me and I know that this bad boy won't do the trick. Anyway I just feel bad for them because they make the perfect husband but the perfect boyfriend. They aren't what we girls want to have but they are what we need to have.

I wanted you to my valentine but it's too late now isn't it?

my grandmother twisted her ankle, i hope she gets well. i cant stand seeing her like this ):

i think ill just let things the way they are.

I had the worst WORST nightmare ever. This freaking girl stole my man. Haha i know he isnt my man but i dont give a fuck, hes mine. I really thought it was real. I was freaking crying. How could she do this to me. Like what the hell. I wanted to rip her hair off. No kidding. The nightware was really too real for me to handle. I guess i really do want him so badly after all. Hes really what i am looking for.

I have never wanted something so much in my life. I want to try somethin with you A. Because i really think you can make me happy and that i might be madly in love with you.

A,
if i told you i like us to be more than friends would you say yes? Will you?

I wonder if I meant something to you. Lile seriously, did you ever like me? Because it feels you don't A.

student-for-a-day in marianopolis was really fun actually. i really like the atmosphere even though there were really a lot of asians. i was really in shock but it was a good experience. loved it!

Quand tu t'aperçois que tu n'en peux plus.

sometimes is it even okay to feel this way.
to restart a new life? to get away from this place a start a fresh path
 

applied at Marianopolis, Dawson and Vanier
DONE . so relieved :)

Tired~

can somebody bring me strawberries filled with chocolate because if you do well i'll love you forever :) -craving for some right now-

My mommy hasnt come home yet, :(
Had a fiever and a huge headache between 4-6 pm and still having a headache at 12:45am

Yesterday haha

downloading some old chinese songs for my daddy and grandpa :) and of course i get to enjoy them also <3

Omg i have never a community so much in my entire life. Seriously CANT FKING WAIT TO MOVE OUT OF THIS CITY. People are rude, asshole and think they are the fking shit well guess what NO YOU'RE NOT FAGGOT. Cant wait for cegep, cant wait to not take orders from idiots

I miss that feeling of joy of liking someone and also that smile on my face. But i feel much more happier than I was last year so it's okay.

i thought we were good friends. i thought that i can trust you. you are the reason why i still believe there are still good guys around but no. life has once proved me wrong. you are a jerk like everybody else. anyway i dont care about you and your shit. dont bother me when you have a problem or some other things. i have already lost so many people in my life and i dont really care if i lose you or not because at the end of the day i know who's worth and who's not. some people are meant to stay in my life and some are not. like i cant stand those people anymore. pretending and pretending that makes me sick.

Maybe we could have been something but yet it seem that you have no interest in me

Tired but a good day

today my friend and i visited our 10th grade french teacher and yeah i do miss her. she was so awesome. to be honest all my french teachers all awesome throughout my high school year. i really hate french but throughout my 10th and 11th grade french teacher, i am more interested than before. anyway fuck the TRI

in my eyes, you are not important anymore because you are just not. i dont need you. i know that seeing you might still give my an effect but still fuck this shit, im done being sad over you. like why the fuck was i torturing myself

Seriously the waiters working in my restaurant are the worst. They are the typical men that I hate. They might be funny but they are freaking bitch ==

Rewatching my all-time favorite tvb series that ive loved since i was like 5 i think. It's journey in the west, the one filmed in 1996. I cant believe how good it still is and how funny it still. The music still makes me laugh, happy or cry. Seriously it's the best thing ever. It made my childhood. I still remember when i bought the dvd back in china and how ive watched them over and over until they finally were all scratched and broken haha <3 it proves that even after watching it 100 times and memorizing their lines, i would still love it and find it funny. I love you tvb for making my life brighter <3333

Sadly there are only few gentlemen left in this world. At least I still have those few in my life :)

I think ive lost 5 pounds today :( never felt that sick before.. Anyway hopefully ill be okay tomorrow

Never felt so sick before. I slept all day and didnt even do the cegep thing. I dont know whats going on with me but it feels like im really really tired and sleepy but i cant.. Anyway fml

Im happy because i dont need you anymore fuck that this is really over
Im happy by myself and with the people around ne

I have a super headache :(

• 1. Who was the last person you held hands with? i really dont remember
• 2. Are you outgoing or shy? outgoing 
• 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? tvb dramaaa heheee , especially on call 36 2 <3
• 4. Are you easy to get along with? maybe?
• 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? haha im afraid ill end up crying so i prefer not
• 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? someone that has a great sense of humor, outgoing, easy to talk to and goof around
• 7. Do you think you'll be in a relationship two months from now? no
• 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? him law :D
• 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? haha with the friends i have, NOP
• 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my girlfriends 
• 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? oui
• 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
  1-  cant take my eyes off you
  2-beautiful in white
  3-鄧麗欣 - 日久生情
  4-if you dont know me by now
  5-野孩子
• 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? not when they are dirty
• 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes
• 15. What good thing happened this summer? reuniting with old friends, summer camp with the kids that i miss terribly, met some great people, had a crush on someone and much more
• 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? no
• 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? yes
• 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? no
• 19. Do you like bubble baths? i adore 
• 20. Do you like your neighbors? yeah?
• 21. What are you bad habits? being lazy, procrastinating is ma thing and much more
• 22. Where would you like to travel? europe/asia
• 23. Do you have trust issues? yes
• 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? sleeping
• 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my body
• 26. What do you do when you wake up? i get right back to bed until my mom screams at me 
• 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? i guess a little bit lighter during winter time and darker during summer time :)
• 28. Who are you most comfortable around? my girlfriends, people that are fun to hang with
• 29. Have any of your ex's told you they regret breaking up? yes
• 30. Do you ever want to get married? yes
• 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yep
• 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? haha, raymond lam and him law :D
• 33. Spell your name with your chin. -.-
• 34. Do you play sports? What sports? shopping
• 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? omgggggggggggggggggg i rather die then
• 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yeah...
• 37. What do you say during awkward silences? "awkward.." haha
• 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? he must be either raymond lam or him law :D but seriously idk
• 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? zara, forever 21, stylexchange, h&m, sephora
• 40. What do you want to do after high school? travel
• 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends on what they did
• 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? either im hurt or im just really tired and if you keep bugging me ill slap you
• 43. Do you smile at strangers? hell no
• 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space
• 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? huh i dont
• 46. What are you paranoid about? too much
• 47. Have you ever been high? no
• 48. Have you ever been drunk? yeah
• 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? nop
• 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black
• 51. Ever wished you were someone else? yes
• 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? everything
• 53. Favourite makeup brand? nars/urban decay
• 54. Favourite store? zara
• 55. Favourite blog? smileywu.tumblr.com hahaha :D seriously i dont have any
• 56. Favourite colour? beige
• 57. Favourite food? too much D:
• 58. Last thing you ate? mexicain thingy that is spicy butreally good :D
• 59. First thing you ate this morning? water
• 60. Ever won a competition? For what? running
• 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? suspended for the first time last year because i was later during first period D: also had my first copy in my whole life..
• 62. Been arrested? For what? huh nothing
• 63. Ever been in love? yes
• 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? well i kissed this guy that became my boyfriend afterwards wouhou what a great story.. can we move on?
• 65. Are you hungry right now? no
• 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? no
• 67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook
• 68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr
• 69. Are you watching tv right now? no
• 70. Names of your bestfriends? ********************************************************************
• 71. Craving something? What? green tea ice cream omhhhhhhhhg
• 72. What colour are your towels?green
• 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 with a hugeeeeee stuff animal and kuma kuma ;D
• 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? haha yesh
• 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? more thann 15
• 75. Favourite animal? doggy
• 76. What colour is your underwear? black
• 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla
• 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? superkid
• 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? green
• 80. What colour pants? no pants :)
• 81. Favourite tv show?  too many
• 82. Favourite movie? you are the apple of my eyes :')
• 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 1
• 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21..
• 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? no one
• 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? nemo
• 87. First person you talked to today? mom 
• 88. Last person you talked to today? mom
• 89. Name a person you hate? me
• 90. Name a person you love? me
• 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? yes
• 92. In a fight with someone? no
• 93. How many sweatpants do you have? a lot
• 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? a lot
• 95. Last movie you watched? a chinese movie i guess
• 96. Favourite actress? too many
• 97. Favourite actor? him law :)
• 98. Do you tan a lot? nop
• 99. Have any pets? no
• 100. How are you feeling? tired
• 101. Do you type fast? if im not tired
• 102. Do you regret anything from your past? a lot
• 103. Can you spell well? no haha
• 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes ..
• 105. Ever been to a bonfire party?no
• 106. Ever broken someone's heart? i guess
• 107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes
• 108. What should you be doing? sleeping/doing my project
• 109. Is something irritating you right now? not really
• 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yes
• 111. Do you have trust issues? what the fuck again
• 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? i dont remember i dont usually cry in front of someone
• 113. What was your childhood nickname? baby :) with a little chinese accent ok
• 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes
• 115. Do you play the Wii? well not mine
• 116. Are you listening to music right now? yes
• 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yup
• 118. Do you like Chinese food? huh what do you think
• 119. Favourite book? ouh thats though one, i guess the trilogy of fifty shades of grey, divergent/insurgent, hunger games.. ok too much
• 120. Are you afraid of the dark? well sometimes
• 121. Are you mean? yes
• 122. Is cheating ever okay? huh hell no
• 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no haha
• 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no
• 125. Do you believe in true love? yes
• 126. Are you currently bored? yes
• 127. What makes you happy? things that make me happy
• 128. Would you change your name? no i like them
• 129. What your zodiac sign? scorpio
• 130. Do you like subway? yes
• 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well idk
• 132. Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? ok again with this question
• 133. Favourite lyrics right now? if you dont know me by now you will never ever know me.....
• 134. Can you count to one million? you wish
• 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? cant thing of any
• 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed
• 137. How tall are you? 1m67 - 70 idk
• 138. Curly or Straight hair? both
• 139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette
• 140. Summer or Winter? summer
• 141. Night or Day? day
• 142. Favourite month? october
• 143. Are you a vegetarian? hell no
• 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk
• 145. Tea or Coffee? tea
• 146. Was today a good day? huh maybe
• 147. Mars or Snickers? idk
• 148. What's your favourite quote? fall down seven, stand up eight
• 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yes, i watch long island medium
• 150. Get the closet book next to you, open it to page 42, what's the first line on that page? too far